Granted, but every time you Mind Control something, someone you love is murdered by non-dark Archons. Oh, and you explode.

I wish I didn't have a headache right now.

Granted.

Muahhahahaha, you didn't expect that one, did you?

I wish I had no sorrows - at all.

Granted. You have no emotions.

I wish I could go on an eating spree without getting fat or growing zits.

I didn't say I'm sad. There's a difference. Sorrows are well I'd say "problems you think about" no matter what you feel about these.

Also:
Congratulations, you are bulimic now.

My above wish still stands.

Fine, then, Nude. You have no sorrows -- problems that you think about -- because you are now incapable of thinking. Enjoy being a vegetable!

Granted, Phobos, but you go overboard and eat yourself to death, like the Gluttony victim in Se7en. No, seriously, it's possible.

OH SNAP BITCHES I CORRUPTED TWO WISHES IN ONE!

I wish I could sing better.

Granted, you can sing like but you never talk in a regular voice.

I wish that I had a psi blade.

Granted, but the protoss inevitably recruit you into the ranks, and you die after some noob tried use you to proxy rush a 9 pool Zerg.

I wish for the ability to stop time at will.

Granted, but you never said anything about restarting it...

I wish th

Granted, but after obtainment, you pursue rule of the universe. Your ambition was too great and you were hunt down by aliens.
(Couldn't understand post, assuming you wanted the world)

I wish memes were never invented.

Granted, over 9000 memes suddenly disappeared.

I wish that SSBB's online was much, much better (akin to, Halo 3 for example *without teh h4xorz*)

Granted. All other forms of online play are no longer existent, making SSBB have the best.

I wish I could safely conduct lightning with my fingertips.

Granted, but you kill people with it when you are unconscious.

I wish that Genie could grant my future wishes.

You already can. As long as it doesn't cross your heart or burn your hand, it's fine.

Genie has been freed, and thus can't grant anything but wishes made of some human servant. You are thus reduced to a vegetable with the ability only to wish for necessities of life.

I wish for the most comfortable pair of underwear in the world.

How's that destroying his wish? That's what he wanted.
How is that "safely"?

You Sir, officially lose this thread for this epic double fail.

Granted, but you must construct additional pylons to wear them. You don't have enough psi.

I wish that that made sense.

Granted, except that underwear costs an infinite amount of psi to wear. It's too psionically advanced for any being to comprehend.

I wish that I wasn't so tired.

Granted, but you become so hyperactive that you asplode.

I wish that you would not grant my wish in anyway.

I would like to pass the message that someone else granted your wish.

I wish that I received a personal 10% discount at any restaurant or grocery outlet when I would otherwise have to stretch my budget.

"ZA WARUDO" is a meme involving the stopping of time and the inversion of colors. Your previous wish was that you could stop time. The joke was that you used ZA WARUDO on me mid-wish.

Granted. Unfortunately, all food costs OVER 9000 American dollars, but only for you. IOW, 10% ain't gon' cover it.

I wish I didn't have this annoying cough.

Lol you mistook me for Urine, but that makes much more sense though.

Granted , your annoying cough is gone, but it was only a contagious virus in its infant stages. Your body did not time to develop an immunity towards it, while other people got over one annoying cough. Soon everyone will develop an immunity toward it while you contract the virus again, and you die a slow and painful death. gg no re.

I wish Al Gore won the 2000 campaign.