All credits are to be given to me.
Post feedbacks if you liked it or how I could improve it.
I order you to forgive yourself!
I order you to forgive yourself!
Lotta oddly-constructed sentences that didn't flow so well... I'm not even sure I get the ending, or what happened. Breakage of the third wall seemed awkward, slightly contrived, totally unnecessary, and it broke the flow. And why digress to talk about the setting if you could've simply described it before detailing the events of the story?
None.
I order you to forgive yourself!
Quote from 
DavidJCobb
DavidJCobbLotta oddly-constructed sentences that didn't flow so well... I'm not even sure I get the ending, or what happened. Breakage of the third wall seemed awkward, slightly contrived, totally unnecessary, and it broke the flow. And why digress to talk about the setting if you could've simply described it before detailing the events of the story?
Yeah, describing the city the way you did... not a great idea. You could have easily intertwined it with the following paragraph. Add it in there while she's on her way to the river.
Take "Anyway" out of that sentence. Instead of stating that her mind was unchanged, give the reader the impression that she hadn't changed her mind by making her respond arrogantly and/or snobbishly to the man.
Why are you writing this as a narrator? Was that part of the assignment?
I'd say take that whole sentence out. Keep the suspense going. She's trapped, and telling us she lost the skii-doo doesn't fit. Unless it was some sort of precious object that belonged to the family.
Again, to keep the suspense going, remove "Then" from this sentence:
Oh, and you rushed through and at the ending.
Quote
Anyway, that conversation had in no way changed what Sainha Peira was going to do.
Take "Anyway" out of that sentence. Instead of stating that her mind was unchanged, give the reader the impression that she hadn't changed her mind by making her respond arrogantly and/or snobbishly to the man.
Quote
For some obscure reason that even I, the narrator, don’t know yet,
Why are you writing this as a narrator? Was that part of the assignment?
I'd say take that whole sentence out. Keep the suspense going. She's trapped, and telling us she lost the skii-doo doesn't fit. Unless it was some sort of precious object that belonged to the family.
Again, to keep the suspense going, remove "Then" from this sentence:
Quote
Then, she felt the water getting higher and higher.
Oh, and you rushed through and at the ending.
None.
I order you to forgive yourself!
Quote from name:BluEditor
...
Wow, that makes a lot of sense. I'll change those little details right now. Seems like I'll be improving my writing skills a lot with that short story
Also, the idea I had with the ski-doo was that it would block the water that was able to go through the dam leading to the flood.
Picture of what it could look like
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[04:56 am]
Ultraviolet -- I suppose we'll likely never know, but my guess would be that they already saw it operating successfully and there was no monetary incentive to finish the original work. And the dev cycle in old school Blizzard was so hectic, it's possible it just got forgotten about after the original game got released. Plus there's an element of existing MPQ files that were packaged with the original discs becoming outdated if they updated it. And it's not like they remade the original MPQs, they just made new ones for BW specifically[04:26 am]
Oh_Man -- so that makes me think maybe the theory they are unfinished is not true and its a deliberate design decision, coz why not finish them wen ur making brood war?[04:25 am]
Oh_Man -- the thing is thos buildings are from classic. that means they went ahead and made brood war without ever finishing the 'unfinished' buildings[2026-6-20. : 6:15 pm]
Ultraviolet -- Yeah he's talked about a lot of that stuff in his casts before. It seems plausible. Especially knowing how Blizzard of yesteryear operated.[2026-6-20. : 3:47 pm]
NudeRaider -- to clarify: couldn't recall the behavior for every single Protoss building but I was aware the disparity exists.[2026-6-20. : 3:43 pm]
NudeRaider -- Contained nothing new for me. Didn't know all building's behavior, but very much all unit's. Also Terran balance whine - also nothing new 
[2026-6-19. : 9:57 am]
Oh_Man -- artosis dropped pretty interesting vid: https://youtu.be/EqZHB8Blra4
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