Staredit Network > Forums > Media, Art, and Literature > Topic: No structure short poem
No structure short poem
Feb 21 2009, 11:25 am
By: InsolubleFluff  

Feb 21 2009, 11:25 am InsolubleFluff Post #1



She lays in there waiting. Waiting for you. You gave her time to be exposed, but all she found was hate. Now tears she makes you bleed, mean only retribution. Forgiveness is ten miles away, and now is where she ends. She clings to you so tightly, but not in fear of loss. It's because the absence of love, is what she now must bridge. So she offers her apologies, but it's you who needs forgived.



None.

Feb 21 2009, 5:05 pm Moose Post #2

meme

Quote from name:Shocko
it's you who needs forgived.
Congratulations, you've made a meme. Prepare to hear this grammatical abomination rubbed in your face for several years to come.



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Feb 21 2009, 6:17 pm Centreri Post #3

Relatively ancient and inactive

No, Moose, you just made it a meme. It's a Shocko-Moose creation.

It's you who needs forgived!



None.

Feb 21 2009, 6:38 pm InsolubleFluff Post #4



I figured it was wrong before I posted it, but my lack of care this morning let it slide...



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Feb 21 2009, 7:18 pm Dapperdan Post #5



O. I thought that you meant to do that. Poetic license, ya know. Which made me thinks moose calling you out wasn't really... called for. But I guess it was. Anyway, the poem is really dribble and I don't have any other comments to give.



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Feb 21 2009, 7:37 pm InsolubleFluff Post #6



Yeah I hadn't slept well... woke up because another tenant made a huge crash. I decided to check girlfriends facebook and her ex was flirting, so I waited til 7am when I knew she'd wake and text her wtf, after that I couldn't sleep and I made that on my phone... I need paper :(



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Feb 21 2009, 9:09 pm ClansAreForGays Post #7



Quote from name:Shocko
Yeah I hadn't slept well... woke up because another tenant made a huge crash. I decided to check girlfriends facebook and her ex was flirting, so I waited til 7am when I knew she'd wake and text her wtf, after that I couldn't sleep and I made that on my phone... I need paper :(
You think that'll make me forgived you?!




Feb 21 2009, 9:54 pm InsolubleFluff Post #8



yus forgived me!



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Feb 22 2009, 1:52 am Dapperdan Post #9



Quote from name:Shocko
yus forgived me!

You just bastardized your own meme. It's you who needs forgived.



None.

Feb 22 2009, 2:24 am Riney Post #10

Thigh high affectionado

Quote from name:Theodore Roosevelt
Quote from name:Shocko
it's you who needs forgived.
Congratulations, you've made a meme. Prepare to hear this grammatical abomination rubbed in your face for several years to come.

Its spam if anyone else does it, its awesome when moose does it.



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Feb 22 2009, 5:02 am Norm Post #11



...You need to work on your poetry skills. This sounds like the chorus of 10 screamo songs stringed together with a tad of :-(. I Don't understand what horrid force possessed you into writing this, but it definitely is ten miles away from having anything positive said about it over the intarwebs.

Long story short: After writing this, It's you who needs forgived.



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Feb 22 2009, 6:36 am Corbo Post #12

ALL PRAISE YOUR SUPREME LORD CORBO

No, leave him alone. It's all of you who needs forgived.



fuck you all

Feb 22 2009, 7:53 am Norm Post #13



Quote from Corbo
No, leave him alone. It's all of you who needs forgived.


It is not I who need forgived, rather it is you, you horrid poetry supporter!



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Feb 22 2009, 8:38 am InsolubleFluff Post #14



This originally was going to be screamo. If you care to flick through the pages, I've written some good poems. I am going to write an amazing poem to gain your forgivedness



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Feb 22 2009, 9:13 am Excalibur Post #15

The sword and the faith

Actually Shocko, I've yet to see you write anything that isn't average at best.




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Feb 22 2009, 9:16 am InsolubleFluff Post #16



They were rated well. But you wait. This next poem will be cosmically orgasmic!



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Feb 22 2009, 6:11 pm A_of-s_t Post #17

aka idmontie

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Feb 22 2009, 8:41 pm InsolubleFluff Post #18



I made an okay / good poem, I'm waiting on my girlfriends laptop so forgived and other discusts are GG'd, but prepare for socks to be blown...



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Feb 22 2009, 9:53 pm Norm Post #19



I hope there will be another grammatical error for us to pick at.



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Feb 22 2009, 10:23 pm InsolubleFluff Post #20



I can make a meme vershun if u wuntQuestionMark



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