Granted, because Excalibur is that person

I wish that someone would tell me where Alaska was on the map.

Quote from OlimarandLouie

Granted, but it

Quote from name:Dark_Marine

requires a paid subscription.

I wish that the Lich didn't steal Christmas.

Granted.

I wish that I didn't have to face this in battle.

Granted, but it
I wish I could win every MTG game I play.

Granted, but you were caught cheating during the worldwide finals.

I wish that I would win Friday Night Magic tonight by playing fairly and not cheating in any way, shape, or form.

granted, but some noobish person thinks that you cheated, so you get kicked after you win fairly.

Granted, but you explode, in case you edit your post for a wish.

I wish that Derqua would write his granteds and his wishes faster.

Granted, but he types too fast and accidentally sets himself on fire and now I'm the only one doing Granteds and Wishes.

I wish Facebook didn't keep trying to give away my personal info.

[deleted]

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jul 5 2018, 4:10 am by DavidJCobb.

Granted. It's guaranteed to advance any minor neuroses into outright psychosis.

I wish my body would heal to what I consider an ideal state.

[deleted]

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Jul 5 2018, 4:10 am by DavidJCobb.

Granted. You are now worried about the psychological effects of you living forever with nothing interesting happening.

I wish that I had a mic that works perfectly, and won'tand won't break, ever, and it's a decent mic for a decent cost of $25, and that it is comfortable.

Granted, but there's a random . in your wish so you die.

I wish my romantic interest returned my affection.

Granted, but you are now a convicted child sex offender.

I wish that credit cards didn't exist.

Granted, but then everyone is mugged for carrying around so much cash (since the idea that checks suck wont go away.)

I wish I could actually play guitar without it sounding like shit thrown into a fan. D:

Granted, but you realize you are just wasting your time by playing guitar hero when you could have a real guitar on your hands.

I wish I could beat Touhou in Lunatic without continues. Hell, I cannot even beat it on Normal without continues ):

Granted, but you use cheats.

I wish I could meet Willy Wonka, and he'd invite me into his chocolate factory for a tour.

Granted, but you are now in a terrible movie.

I wish I was better at playing the keyboard.

Granted, but against your wishes, he teaches you about fudge packing.
EDIT: Beaten! Granted. Unfortunately, it's the computer keyboard, and nobody gives a shit about typing quickly anymore because any half-nerd can do it.

I just realized that I may have been invited to the SCII beta despite my shitty graphics card because there may be some way to run it without shaders or something. I wish I had a definitive answer, as I'm 7% through downloading... whatever the fuck the installer downloads... and I don't want to waste a significant portion of my time if I'm wrong.

Granted (?), but your HD fails, thus leading to complete loss of data.

I wish I could play string musical instruments.