Granted. But its filled with 4chan users

I wish DJC didnt use caps.

Why would that be bad? I can think of at least 100 reasons why that would be pretty awesome.

Gяaитєd.

I шisн Яavєи нad addєd a cєятaiи ғouятн єиdiиg тo Siиgulaяiтч, jusт тo яєшaяd clєvєя liттlє мiиds liкє мiиє.

Granted Comrade...
But everyone becomes on that island becomes Russian including you thus bombing the united states with e99 bombs creating a time paradox when it hit making it so that singularity is the world and the ending is that you die thus making sure you don't know the full ending.

I wish the person below me get raped by a monkey...
This monkey must forcefully and painfully rape the person below me, then the money must painfully go into this person butthole.
Finally I wish that when in the persons colon will turn into a flaming cactus...

Granted. You were in the second floor of your house at the time of that wish, and the person physically below you (on the first floor or basement) was the person you love and/or care about most in the world.

I wish you'd actually played that game and thought the endings through, so that you knew what I was referring to.

I wish I had a usable TMD.

I played "Break a Wish" in real life today. Here are some of the best ones:

-I wish a cloud would cover up the sun.
-Granted, but it's a swarm of locusts.

-I wish it would rain money.
-Granted, but it's pesos.

-I wish Hitler was alive.
-Granted, but you're Jewish.

Funny.

...

*ahem*

Granted. But your Terribly Massive Destroyometer explodes in your face, leaving only one usable pencil that you left inside the machine.
I wish i cared for The Killers Game again

Granted, but it has real-life consequences.

I wish that I could figure out how the Galaxy Editor works.

Granted, but by the time you do so, SCIII is released and no one cares anymore.

I wish I had 9 fewer severity

Granted, you have -9 fewer severity.
I wish I didnt have to be on Signal Corp for such a sucky team.

Granted. The only signal you will ever send again is the stench of your dead body on the field.

I wish that I will get a 220 on my PSAT.

Granted, but the National Merit Scholarship cutoff for your state ends up being 221.

(True story; I got a 220 on it last year. My state's cutoff was 221. )

I wish that this wish wouldn't be granted.

Not granted, but I'm lying.

I wish that I had telekinesis.

Granted, But im breaking it
I wish for more RAM

Did I really just ninja you by almost two hours?

I left it on reply and went to my game, and came back and submitted two hours later

Granted, a male bighorn sheep appears behind your computer.

I wish I could play SC2 more, but not so much that I die, get expelled from school, or let my grades drop (that was in order of ascending importance).

Granted, but you obtain eye cancer from playing it too much, but its benign and you are permanently blind and wont die quicker than the average person
I wish i could learn how to program Java faster

Me too. Granted, but you don't know how to use it.
Granted. Java is scaled down to a point where it is relatively useless and nobody uses it. You're awesome at it, though!

I wish I knew what I know that I do not know. You know, like Socrates.

10 Dollars to the person who breaks this intelligently.