Blogs n' shit: Wow. November 20:
"Blog Update 6: Alright alright alright. I got it done finally. Fuck."Kinda funny, really. Technically it's
been done the whole time, but I just keep holding it back to mold its shape a bit more each time. Guess that's just how I work, really.
Well that's not the full story. Truth is, the final product here for its own value is immaterial to me. What I'm really trying to do is develop a
process for making
products in general (irrespective of whether it's a map, a piece of software, art, a functional tool... what have you -- a map just sounds more fun).
In the old days, I used to just settle with turning brain farts into maps. Nothing special. With Rush on up to Mechnogears, it was a sort of "stream of consciousness" process that led to some schizophrenic results that sorta danced around the vague, general goal I hoped I was aiming at. With Astrogears, it evolved into a more cohesive iterative process that got jumbled up with a shit-ton of reactionary decisions and (still) unfocused goals.
I think my main problem the entire time has been my lack of clear goals. Which is easier stated than understood, alas, since I've known this for a while. But
really understanding goals is like having to already know the answer to a problem in order to solve it. It would seem the only right way to do it is enduring a laborious, chaotic, iterative process of trying on different sizes until something fits, and then seeing what you have to work with. And after enough iterations it's easy to get confused with what you
think you want.
"Oh, this shoe doesn't just slide right off like the others. I guess it must have been the one I wanted."Bad analogy. My point is that I think one more ingredient is needed: Meta-goals. Goals for goals. An integrated philosophy, in other words. Which is my goal right now (heh). The only problem here is that this isn't the sort of thing I can discover by iterating my designs to find what's right with
other people. Doing that will forever keep me bound in darkness to a linear, iterative path dependent upon others. That is certainly an option, and it does work, but it's a soulless, expensive one that's easy to get stuck with. And that's not what mastery is, besides.
This is, almost literally, a
spiritual process of self discovery. Alright, maybe not that dramatic or special, but it's nearly true. The point is that having shaped this as best as it can be shaped (by reasonable means) with numerous iterations into the image I see with my goals, I can begin to understand what those goals really mean by finally seeing what they translate into. When I have to power to both meet
and understand (and thus control) my goals, I can literally do anything! Including, in turn, iterating my goals themselves to mesh with the reality of other people to make products that
they like.
But one must come before the other. So fuck you all until then.

See, this is the true definition of mastery as I see it. I'm sure some Zen Buddhist monk or something would have a better way of saying it better than I, so this is just my own clumsy way of putting it into words.
So in other news, I'm gonna try to have this done by Christmas. Happy Holidays, fuckers.
Post has been edited 8 time(s), last time on Dec 24 2009, 11:43 am by Tuxedo-Templar.
None.