Wrote this poem for a crush a few years ago. Was 16 at the time, I believe.
As I think of you,
And thoughts become focused,
As the world around me,
Need no longer be noticed,
The frailty of time,
As I dream of your face,
A picture so perfect,
My heart starts to race.
I yearn to hold you,
And to make you mine,
And when finally together,
To let our harmony shine.
Desperately I ask,
Do you feel the same?
Are these feelings I hold,
Held merely in vain?
Answer me beautiful,
Be close to my heart,
Anything so flawless,
First must come to a start.
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It's alright. The language is decent as well as the flow. Nothing special. Very trite. The only part I look upon with any real interest are the last two lines.
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If i were a female, I'd definitely put out after getting this poem. Great work. You might need to tone the vocabulary down a bit, most girls wouldn't understand some of those lines.
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Lol Norm. Thank you.
I never gave it to anyone, but I'll keep that in mind if I ever re-gift this. =p
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You might need to tone the vocabulary down a bit, most girls wouldn't understand some of those lines.
There isn't a single word in there that a girl shouldn't know.
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You might need to tone the vocabulary down a bit, most girls wouldn't understand some of those lines.
There isn't a single word in there that a girl shouldn't know.
While what you say is true, please remember that even though girls SHOULD know these words, most of them will not.
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You might need to tone the vocabulary down a bit, most girls wouldn't understand some of those lines.
There isn't a single word in there that a girl shouldn't know.
While what you say is true, please remember that even though girls SHOULD know these words, most of them will not.
...which ones? They all seem to be fairly common english words...
yearn, vain, frailty.
That's really about it, and they aren't exactly difficult.
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yearn, vain, frailty.
That's really about it, and they aren't exactly difficult.
As if were all superficial enough to date
those type of girls only.
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yearn, vain, frailty.
That's really about it, and they aren't exactly difficult.
As if were all superficial enough to date
those type of girls only.
... *runs*
But seriously, those are simple words....
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yearn, vain, frailty.
That's really about it, and they aren't exactly difficult.
As if were all superficial enough to date
those type of girls only.
What the hell are you trying to say?
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