This is just... something I've written. It's based around a chorus I've had for a while, which is based off a line from a Neil Young song, though the verses are more like an old Dylan song.

My eyes entombed
I laugh
I strike
At the room,
the stalls of Life's confines

I feel the easy touch of memory's scarlet concubine
And the only thought that combines
Within my tired mind

Is who in this world asks "Do you love me?"

But don't let it bring you down,
Don't let it bring you down,
Don't let it bring you down,
For you were flying so far from here.

In no waking moment find I peace
Or open spirit
I sit behind an empty mailbox
Where the poet slumbers
And the widow weeps

What feels like used mankind is seeping

But don't let it bring you down,
Don't let it bring you down,
Don't let it bring you down,
For you were flying so far from here.

Behind the roadsides and the vacant sidewalks
Hide the images of people with their
lights put out to blind

With a broken voice I call, and I make no earthly sound
And it is the only human sound among you

But don't let it bring you down,
Don't let it bring you down,
Don't let it bring you down,
For you were flying so far from here.

I think it needs some more structure, and maybe a twist or a change that comes near the end. I think then that it could really be effective.

As it stands now, I dunno, it was hard for me to feel most of the time. Especially at the parts where it repeats the chorus. I think I'd need music to go along with it in order to appreciate it, but just reading the same sentence over and over feels weird. My favorite part was the verse with the mailbox.

I suppose it would work better with some musics... after school I suppose I will record it.