Staredit Network > Forums > Media, Art, and Literature > Topic: Abstract Story
Abstract Story
Aug 4 2008, 8:13 am
By: Souma  

Aug 4 2008, 8:13 am Souma Post #1



Just something I wrote up....

For a moment, I was lost in your midst
You say everything will be alright
Will there ever be a peaceful end?
I lay here, time passes by like youth
Dawn turns into dusk
Dusk turns into dawn

I had a dream, where we were together
But only a dream,
It's like being in heaven
Wondering if someone could hear my beat
Just wandering timelessly, muttering silently.

Can you really say it will be alright?
Sorrow in its most purest form,
I hear voices, "speak up, live on..."
The mouth opens, yet the words shake...
with fear, ...with tears, ...with agony

The light shines upon me,
I open these eyes of mine,
If this is my fate, for now...at least,
I'll cast my eyes down, since they can't be fulfilled
I'll dwelve my head into despair in the nightly winds...

My tears, the shadows of the moon
flow down to my palms...
The light shines brighter, to only see
that this is my Reflection...

"What is it that you wish for?"
I can finally see, that's right...
Burning with flame,
I charge forward...
"I wish for my death..."


Thanks for reading...

Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on Aug 6 2008, 2:42 am by Souma.



None.

Aug 4 2008, 6:14 pm The_z0r Post #2



Now, turn it into a poem, and it'll be perfect.



None.

Aug 5 2008, 7:28 am Souma Post #3



Can't help but think, that was criticism :crazy: . Anyways, I'm new to this sort of stuff. But from my understanding a poem doesn't necessarily have to rhyme. Any pointers?

:|



None.

Aug 5 2008, 1:34 pm The_z0r Post #4



I know it doesn't have to rhyme. It'd be sooooo much better if it did rhyme, though. Also, a poem isn't just rhyming, it's rhythm, too.



None.

Aug 5 2008, 5:17 pm Fisty Post #5



I would classify it under "abstract story" as it is, sometimes it feels like a poem, and sometimes not.



None.

Aug 6 2008, 2:42 am Souma Post #6



Changes title name, I'll try to write the poem D::



None.

Aug 9 2008, 11:31 am FatalException Post #7



No no, don't do that. This is what we call free verse, a poem in which there is no rhyme or rhythm scheme.



None.

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