Just like Fisty over there I have a good ol replay that I need help analyzing.
Now I've owned SC2 for less than a month and played less than a week total, so I'm still mucking around in the practice league trying to get used to stuff.

All I want to know is how I could have murdered the other player in the replay faster than I did, because I know I could've done it in much less time. Listing every screw-up I've done would help a bit too.

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I don't play zerg, so there goes of a lot of insight.

You need to go to TL and look up proper zerg build orders, and then practice executing them. You need to play more, and you need to not get tech that you don't know how to use properly.

Once you get into a higher league you can get more specific advice.