Joke telling contest
Master has given Dobby a doctorate! Dobby is free!
Better syntax might've helped that, 2.
To get a prostitute you need time and money... nah that doesn't work. Maybe time but not all that much money 
Here's another one:
Why don't women get run over by cars?
Because there aren't any cars in the kitchen.
----
One busy day in Heaven, three people were standing outside the gate of heaven. The guard says:
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 25 2010, 2:20 am by Picturesque.
Here's another one:
Why don't women get run over by cars?
Because there aren't any cars in the kitchen.
----
One busy day in Heaven, three people were standing outside the gate of heaven. The guard says:
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 25 2010, 2:20 am by Picturesque.
None.
What's so great about twenty-eight year olds?
There's twenty of them!
There's twenty of them!
None.
Oh well contest is over but heres some more, SC2 jokes this time 
Yo momma's so fat she used chrono boost on the oven cooking a pizza.
Yo momma's so dumb, she called the police when Stalkers followed her around.
Yo momma's so stupid she wears SPF-15 to protect against Void Rays.
Yo momma's so fat she used chrono boost on the oven cooking a pizza.
Yo momma's so dumb, she called the police when Stalkers followed her around.
Yo momma's so stupid she wears SPF-15 to protect against Void Rays.
None.
Quote from Picturesque
One busy day in Heaven, three people were standing outside the gate of heaven. The guard says:
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
"You may not pass, there is heavy traffic today, so we're only letting people have suffered really bad deaths go through," he looks at the 1st man, "So how'd you die?"
First man:
"Well, I was watering my plants one day on the balcony of the 3rd floor of my apartment. I accidentally slipped and fell off the balcony. Luckily, I was able to grab hold of the 2nd floor's balcony below mine's, but then this guy all of a sudden comes up to me and starts effing hammering my fingers! I'm like "WEDTF YOU DOING MAN?" But he doesn't listen and eventually I let go. Luckily, I land onto a shrub of bushes, but then he throws an effing refrigerator on me! That's how I died."
Guard:
"Damn, that sucks, you can go in," He looks at the second guy, "And you?"
Second guy:
"Well, so I was watching TV one day in my apartment, then all of a sudden a hear a theif outside on my balcony. He was hanging there, so I took the perfect opportunity to hammer down his fingers so he would fall. When he finally fell off, I heard him land on a shrub, so I knew he must still be alive. So I got my refrigerator and threw it on him, unfortunately, the refrigerator cord got tangled around my left foot and I was pulled down with the refrigerator, and I landed hard on the refrigerator... and died."
Guard:
"Ouch man, now that realllllly sucks." He looks at the final person, "So how did you die?"
Third Guy:
"Well.... you see.... I was hiding in the guy's refrigerator one day... and I died."
Guard:
"Damn.... YOU'RE RETARDED LOLOLOLOL.... stay out here... LOOLLOOLOLOLLOLOLOL"
rofl this was great
I'm bad for joke telling, so i'll pass this time
Post has been edited 1 time(s), last time on May 26 2010, 1:39 pm by Kusari. Reason: too long
None.
[06:04 pm]
NudeRaider -- ihjelihjel shouted: "Use Display Text Message or the in-game Leaderboard to output the live values of critical Death Counters." that would be so convenient wouldn't it.
ihjelihjel shouted: "Use Display Text Message or the in-game Leaderboard to output the live values of critical Death Counters." that would be so convenient wouldn't it.
it's rather inconvenient actually, as it requires you to transfer it to Custom Score which might even interfere with what you're measuring. But IIRC you can also use EUDs to display it which by now could actually be somewhat convenient.[2026-11-11. : 9:25 pm]
ihjel -- "Use Display Text Message or the in-game Leaderboard to output the live values of critical Death Counters." that would be so convenient wouldn't it.[2026-11-11. : 6:59 pm]
Symmetry -- I just pasted what google ai told me to try to form a feedback loop[2026-11-11. : 1:24 pm]
NudeRaider -- UndeadStarUndeadStar shouted: https://staredit.net/topic/18961/ <= wow, if there wasn't a capital letter on almost every word in the title, and a link in the signature, I may not have guesses it's an AI bot. I don't know much about map editing, but the content may even be relevant enough to be kept.
Yeah, I've noticed it, but it raised a couple of relevant questions and kept the ad to the signature so if someone were to engage with the topic it could be a net positive which is why I kept it. We're not necessarily anti-bot, just anti-spam. Thanks to Symmetry who realized my hope.
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